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Thread: Anxiety

  1. #1

    Anxiety

    As a man, I'm expected to be the strong one in a family or relationship, the person that can deal with life's pressures. But, the reality is that I have suffered with anxiety for many years. I have lacked confidence in myself and become anxious in almost all situations outside my small circle of family and friends.

    I recognise that this requires mental health support to deal with the underlying problem, but can anyone suggest ways of coping day to day?

  2. #2
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    Have you tried calms? Or breathing techniques? Whenever I have felt anxious in a situation I find that talking myself through slow breathing seems to help me get a handle on things.

  3. #3
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    Anxiety is horrible isn't it? I'm fortunate to not really suffer from it in a severe way, but I know others who have and do suffer.

    I find rescue remedy helps really well, certainly in a way to be able to get some form of handle on the situation and guided rationalisation of the situation.

    for example, talk yourself through the experience that causes you anxiety, remind yourself to breathe slowly, take a deep breath, and slowly release it. remind yourself that you are safe and in control. Don't focus on the negative aspects of the situations, but rather the positive things.

  4. #4
    It is a difficult one to offer support on, it is easy to say, 'don't sweat the small stuff', but if you are that way inclined, someone telling you simple won't be enough to make you change.

    I think you're right about the mental health support, and maybe this is required for the day to day stuff. There are vitamins and minerals that are known to be beneficial in reducing anxiety, maybe you could try to load up with the foods that contain high amounts of them. Attack it from all angles.

  5. #5
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    I know this is going to sound airy-fairy, but have you tried meditation? Daily meditation allows you the time to be mindful of your feelings, actions and thoughts. It gives you a period where you can stop and put life into perspective. You can just sit quietly and concentrate on your breathing, or you can go on you tube, or download guided meditation to help you focus and meditate. I would recommend the latter to get you started.

  6. #6
    Have you tried to cut out all stimulants? coffee, sugar, alcohol, bread, cakes, biscuits.

    You may find this can help to reduce the stress levels in your body, making you calmer and more able to cope with day to day tasks.
    As Megan said meditation is very good and will give you more control over your body.

  7. #7
    Have you always suffered from anxiety? Or did it suddenly come on?

  8. #8
    Lacking confidence is a tough one, I used to be like that, in lots of ways I still am, although many people wouldn't know because I hide it.

    Over the years I have learnt to put Up a front, like an actor on the stage, a pretence guise. I still find my self fiddling with my hands, and fumbling words occasionally. But what I have found is that the more I pretend, the easier it has become, and the pretence has become second nature.

    Start off in small, well known environments and just pretend you are a character that you admire....I call it..'what would ? Do'

    So for example, if your role model is Obama, with his, laid back, smooth approach to conversations then think, 'what would Obama do? How would he act?

    The other thing I would say, is do things your way, don't try to conform to a type set, do things in a way you feel comfortable with.

  9. #9
    I have suffered from lack of confidence for many years and as a result, anxiety has crept into my life at times. Most commonly, it is times when I feel that I am going to be judged by people.

    My lack of self love has contributed to my lack of confidence, that I do know. The times when I felt good about myself, definitely coincide with improved confidence.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by John B View Post
    I have suffered from lack of confidence for many years and as a result, anxiety has crept into my life at times. Most commonly, it is times when I feel that I am going to be judged by people.

    My lack of self love has contributed to my lack of confidence, that I do know. The times when I felt good about myself, definitely coincide with improved confidence.
    John B, as a man you are naked to the people you meet, but women have the luxury of hiding behind make-up to give them self confidence. You are not alone in the way you feel. 99% of the population have the same anxieties and hang-ups. I think that once you start to realise that, the stronger you will feel.

    CharlieH had a good point, and it is similar to a woman putting their make-up on. Pretend to be a confident person...at first it will seem strange (you try going out in public with a full face of make-up on for the first time!), but overtime it be.comes more natural until it becomes who you are.

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